My Journey....

So I realize my blog is all over the place...Its about Aubrey, my days and weight loss but that's how my mind works. It jumps around a lot.

So first things first...My lil missy...This week has been brutal because Aubrey has been sick for 6 days now and we are still doing breathing treatments.  She is finally getting used to them though so that is nice!

On Tuesday I decided to stay at my parents house with her and it was the best night of sleep she has had all week, probably because she was just so pooped out because no joke this sickness has got her going! She now does raspberries,

 has her own beauty queen wave and she rocks back and forth when she is on her knees and hands...I swear she is gonna crawl soon!  I think she is finally starting to get better though but now womp womp womp James is totally sick and I have a itchy throat! :(

We got some sunshine yesterday and my mom took Aubrey on a walk while I went out to lunch with my friend Jen!

 I can't stop looking at this picture! I am in love with it because I actually think I look thin!! Plus Aubrey is totally adorable 

So now back to my journey!

I have always felt that I was on the bigger side not saying that I thought I was huge or anything but most of my friends have always been smaller than me...i.e they could all share clothes and I was the only fat one who couldn't share with anyone.( Its pretty much still that way.) Remember the store 5,7,9 yea hah that was a joke I was never a size 9 not even in high school... For as long as I can remember I was always a size 13 or 12 until I started weight watchers but that is fast forwarding too much...

When I met James I felt like I was skinnier but no where near skinny still about 150 pounds... then you fall in love, get married and bam! you gain weight like crazy!

I remember my last semester at college which was after we got married... I should have probably been in a size 14 because I was busting out of my size 12 pants and after graduation that is when I believe it clicked.

My face is the roundest it has ever been here! (I love my long hair though)

I still remember the day, I took a nap in the middle of the day and when James got home I told him I was going to go to a weight watchers meeting (weighed in at 174.9) and I never looked back...( well I did when I was pregnant but that doesn't count right? lol)

So I started looking for a full body fat girl picture of me and believe me it was hard to find...maybe no one takes pictures of me enough or maybe I just didn't want to because I knew I was bigger... these are the ones I found before I started WW.

This was taken in Las Vegas with my mom in 2008 for her 50th birthday...and I graduated at the end of 2009 so I guess I was bigger for longer than I remember. 

This was taken at lake shasta in 2010 and I believe it was after that when I started WW. I know its far away ...I didn't know how to crop it.

I still have a long way to go to get to where I want to be and I feel like I guess I have always felt that way but now it has finally stuck!! 

I want to be healthy

I want to fit into a pair of size 6 jeans (soon)

I want to be a runner

I want to workout

I want good for you food

So basically what I'm trying to say is 2013 I will finally be okay with myself and I will not let myself go anymore! I will be ecstatic if I get down to 135 but if I get stuck at 140 that is still freaking amazing and I will not beat myself up for it!! But I will get down to 140! I only have 12 more pounds to go....oh yea I lost another 2 pounds this week and I weighed myself today at 151.6 so I KNOW I CAN DO THIS!!!