My motivation

I have held off on posting a "before and during" picture because I felt like there wouldn't be much of a difference, but I woke up feeling great today and I decided I needed to! I knew exactly what "before" picture I would use and when I got to the gym today I decided I looked "skinny" enough to take a photo to compare! Wow! I have never gotten such great feedback from people! Thank you!
I'm so excited to be a motivator for people!! I need my own motivation everyday and I find it from the blogs I read, from friends and from family. I'm no where near close to being done with my weight loss journey but then again I don't think I will ever will be because it is a life long journey and some days are way more challenging than others!
I can actually say I am excited to try on swimsuits this year and no I doubt I'll get this body into a bikini this year... But maybe. I can't wait to buy some new clothes and jeans!!! :)


My "before" picture was about a month after Aubrey was born and I weighed about 170ish and now my "during" photo was taken today 8 months after Aubrey was born and I weighed 148 this morning!

Our first night away!

For valentines day we decided to go to San Francisco....for the night!! Big deal! We hadn't spent a night away from Aubrey yet so I was just a little bit stressed but wow it felt so good not to have to worry about her for a night! We drove to Dublin and met my sister so she could take Aubrey for the night and I was so worried..... for my sister lol because Aubrey can be a brat sometimes but I guess she was a perfect lil angel for my sister! Or at least that's what she says lol but I believe her!

We stayed at the Phoenix hotel which was fun!! I totally want to stay there again but on a weekend! The courtyard stays open until midnight on the weekends and it would be fun to hangout outside. We should have ate at round table because I totally wanted Pizza and beer but we ate at Chambers which is the restaurant connected to the phoenix hotel, it was good but still I should have stuck to my craving because we ended up getting pizza later that night and it was the bomb.com, or at least my drunken self thought it was amazing! lol We went to this bar called the kosykar and it was fun but dead! we are early birds so we beat the crowds! The bartender made me a red headed slut but as a slushie with more jager added to it.....ummm I need a slushie machine! it was amazing!

We called it a night at like 10 pm! haha yes that is late for us but I wish we would have stayed out longer but its hard in a city that you don't know all that well! It was a great valentines day and it totally prepared me for what this summer has to hold because we have a ton of weddings to go to and we will probably be leaving Aubrey overnight more often!!

So I took thursday, friday and today off of working out so tomorrow I need to do something good! all the pizz,a cookies, candy and alcohol will not do me any favors if I don't workout!

First day!!!

It was my first day of my new part time/seasonal job today and I loved it! I started at 10am and got off at 2pm.  I seriously felt like it flew by! It was fun and I learned how to do the office work they want me to do.  As of right now I am just a temp so I will be working two days a week, Tuesdays and Thursdays until they get busy with tax season then they will have me work more hours.  Then when tax season is over they will probably let me go which will suck because I have a feeling I'm going to LOVE working in an office setting!  When I got off I went and picked up Aubrey and now she is napping and I have a feeling it is going to be a long nap because she was exhausted from having too much fun today! 

We sorta matched today! Of course I had to wear Polka Dots!! They are my favorite! 

I'm taking today off of running but tomorrow I am going to be back at full force! Its so nice out today I'm sad I'm not gonna go running but I think my body needs a rest. 

My little missy on her play mat! 

I'm kinda sad she is sleeping right now! I don't get to play with her! Oh well Ill get to see her play with her toys in the bath later! :)

New beginnings...

This week was so good for running!! I ran 7 miles on Wednesday, then took Thursday off and completely stuffed my face with candy and pirates booty at bunco, then on Friday Nicole and I did another TRX class! Totally pooped me out for the day! That class is serious business! Then came Saturday and Nicole texted me and wanted to see if I would go running with her, At first I was like ughhh...... but then my friend Christina texted me and told me she was going to the gym so I convinced myself I needed to go run because we were going to a crab feed that night and I was planning on drinking and stuffing my face with crab! So we hit the pavement and I knew it was Nicole's day for a long run so I decided to stick with her for as long as I could go.....bam another 6 miles!!! Believe me it was hard because she is faster than me and I kept her pace! Today I decided I needed to run again because stepping on the scale this morning after all that crab, bread, pasta and wine did me in, so I ran another 4 miles! So proud of myself but with all the food consumed this week I hope it pays off!

The Crab feed was soooo yummy!!! I worked my butt off this week so a ton of crab, wine and cookies was well worth it!! 

Aubrey had a blast too! 

Aubrey on our run today! it was so nice out! I am loving the sunshine!!

Well tomorrow starts a new chapter in our lives....its my first day of work since Aubrey has been born! I am starting a new office job and I am beyond excited because I get to wear cute clothes!! All the jobs I have ever worked had uniforms so going shopping for nice clothes felt so good.  This also means that I will be changing up my workout habits but I have to figure that out once I know what my days are going to look like! Aubrey will be staying with grandparents while I'm working so she doesn't have to go to daycare which makes me feel lucky because I know a lot of people don't have family available to watch their kids.

Well wish me luck tomorrow! I'm excited!! :)

Ever have a negative thought day?

Its Tuesday!!

 I'm officially (on my scale) down to 152.9 pounds! yay! So I am down 9.5 pounds! Unofficially I was at 151 until Sunday but ya know it was Superbowl so of course I ate and I had an off week due to all the sickness in our house.  Aubrey is better but just has a cough and lots of mucus but of course it doesn't slow her down. James is finally feeling a little bit better but he thought he still had a fever this morning :( so I'm staying away! He told me today he sleeps better with me in the spare room...sorry buddy that ain't happening for that much longer! Seriously though we do need a bigger bed, a queen size isn't big enough anymore.

So anyways back to me...Its weird, every week my weight has been going down but during the week I notice it jumps around, I guess as long as it just keeps going down every week that's what counts! Maybe that's why I should only weigh myself once a week but its way too tempting! My scale just stares at me every time I go into the bathroom.  

So I decided to try out Pilates today, Nicole couldn't join in on the fun so I was flying solo at the gym.  It was a good class, I will definitely be throwing that in the mix every now and then.  I really want to go to TRX again, it has become way too popular and all the classes are fulled until March but the instructor is working on fixing the schedule so more people can get in!  Well Pilates is somewhat like yoga it was very relaxing but it is a strength workout using your own weight.  Of course the walls of the class are mirrors so you sit there and stare at yourself....

This was my downfall today

I felt so freaking fat!!! Eww! I kept looking at all the other ladies in the class then back to myself and thinking OMG... I have the fattest stomach in here, please no one look at me! Truth is probably no one was looking at me because they were too focused on doing the moves themselves.  I just felt so insecure it was ridiculous I shouldn't feel that way, I should feel awesome...

Reasons I should feel awesome

I went shopping and fit into size 8 pants!! whoo-ooo and every shirt I bought I love!

I have lost freaking 9.5 pounds!

I am under my pre baby weight!

I just need to remember this is a journey and some days I am going to feel fat and other days I am going to feel skinny! The important thing to remember on my negative thought day is to work out and not give into temptation to ruin everything I have worked so hard for! 

With that being said I am going to go play with my baby girl and make sure I go running tomorrow! (hopefully a long one 4+ miles)

Nurse mommy and wifey to the rescue!

Well it was Friday night and I was supposed to have a fun night with some ladies playing bunco but that ended all too soon... 

I got all ready for a fun bunco night with a new group of ladies, my friend Christina decided to start her own bunco group and I was more than excited to go, meet some new girls and play! So I dropped Aubrey off at grandma Cheri's and I was off to have a nice fun relaxing night with just a little bit of wine.  Christina made some really awesome lasagna with some garlic bread and a salad to say I over indulged could't be truer! It was so yummy! And the cupcake I had was the bomb.com :).  

Well we started playing and first I got a text from James telling me that he is dying....rewind to earlier that day... I stocked him up with a ton of different kinds of medicines because he could tell he was gonna be sick well that escalated pretty fast. I told him I was sorry but kept playing, he can handle being sick.....well then I texted Cheri to see how Aubrey was because I didn't want her to get any worse even though she was getting better, and I didn't want grandma to be stuck with a crying unhappy baby, well Cheri texted me and told me Aubrey refused to take her bottle and wouldn't eat her baby food but had taken water and her little Gerber puffs. I asked her if I should come get her and I decided it was probably best to just call it quits and go get the little stinker. (By the way she always refuses the bottle...ugh my boob isn't always going to be there, Child! I don't know what to do other than sippy cups and straws, which she somewhat has the hang of.)

So I had to end my girls night out early, go pick up my little girl who was being a stinker and come home to James curled up in bed with a massive fever!!!! Are you kidding me!! Aubrey just got better and now this?!? James either has the flu or strep and it is horrible.  This is why I get the flu shot and why I had Aubrey get the flu shot. I don't want to feel like death like he does, and I definitely don't want Aubrey to get it because that would be bad news to say the least.

So fast forward to tonight......I literally stayed in my yoga pants all day and now I feel so gross, I wish I would have gone and done at least something today other than go to the store for more medicine and to get a shake.  I guess the shake is the one good thing I did for my body today because my second trip to the store led to me buying a crap ton of candy....what the hell was I thinking?! haha.

All we did today was watch seven psychopaths (which was crazy all over the place but it was funny) and we are almost all caught up on the last season of Sons of Anarchy (which by far is the freaking craziest season yet).  James felt like death all day and I literally had to be on top of him getting his theraflu or he would start to shiver and I was so bossy with him about drinking water but I have to be because he will not keep up on his fluids! For me that is hard to understand because I basically drink a gallon of water everyday! 

So tomorrow I need to do something!! hopefully I can go for a walk with Aubrey because I'm not quite sure she is healthy enough for a run....does that even make sense? lol I don't know something about her being a baby makes me extra cautious about taking her running in the cool air, even though she has been sleeping with the cool mist humidifier every night since she has been sick. I don't know maybe I'm crazy. 

Speaking of crazy.....Aubrey was all wound up today, I don't know if its because I was being lazy with sick daddy or what but she was pretty much non stop today. Yes she is barefoot ..I could not keep her socks on  plus I wanted her to feel how her play station felt without socks on.

 Look at those cheeks! my goodness! haha! Well she is finally passed out and so is sicko daddy so I guess I will call it a night as well even though I feel like I should go run like a million miles! lol

off to the spare bedroom I go where Aubrey is peacefully asleep in her pac-n-play, since I do not dare sleep in the same room with sicko.

Hopefully tomorrow I can workout!

My Journey....

So I realize my blog is all over the place...Its about Aubrey, my days and weight loss but that's how my mind works. It jumps around a lot.

So first things first...My lil missy...This week has been brutal because Aubrey has been sick for 6 days now and we are still doing breathing treatments.  She is finally getting used to them though so that is nice!

On Tuesday I decided to stay at my parents house with her and it was the best night of sleep she has had all week, probably because she was just so pooped out because no joke this sickness has got her going! She now does raspberries,

 has her own beauty queen wave and she rocks back and forth when she is on her knees and hands...I swear she is gonna crawl soon!  I think she is finally starting to get better though but now womp womp womp James is totally sick and I have a itchy throat! :(

We got some sunshine yesterday and my mom took Aubrey on a walk while I went out to lunch with my friend Jen!

 I can't stop looking at this picture! I am in love with it because I actually think I look thin!! Plus Aubrey is totally adorable 

So now back to my journey!

I have always felt that I was on the bigger side not saying that I thought I was huge or anything but most of my friends have always been smaller than me...i.e they could all share clothes and I was the only fat one who couldn't share with anyone.( Its pretty much still that way.) Remember the store 5,7,9 yea hah that was a joke I was never a size 9 not even in high school... For as long as I can remember I was always a size 13 or 12 until I started weight watchers but that is fast forwarding too much...

When I met James I felt like I was skinnier but no where near skinny still about 150 pounds... then you fall in love, get married and bam! you gain weight like crazy!

I remember my last semester at college which was after we got married... I should have probably been in a size 14 because I was busting out of my size 12 pants and after graduation that is when I believe it clicked.

My face is the roundest it has ever been here! (I love my long hair though)

I still remember the day, I took a nap in the middle of the day and when James got home I told him I was going to go to a weight watchers meeting (weighed in at 174.9) and I never looked back...( well I did when I was pregnant but that doesn't count right? lol)

So I started looking for a full body fat girl picture of me and believe me it was hard to find...maybe no one takes pictures of me enough or maybe I just didn't want to because I knew I was bigger... these are the ones I found before I started WW.

This was taken in Las Vegas with my mom in 2008 for her 50th birthday...and I graduated at the end of 2009 so I guess I was bigger for longer than I remember. 

This was taken at lake shasta in 2010 and I believe it was after that when I started WW. I know its far away ...I didn't know how to crop it.

I still have a long way to go to get to where I want to be and I feel like I guess I have always felt that way but now it has finally stuck!! 

I want to be healthy

I want to fit into a pair of size 6 jeans (soon)

I want to be a runner

I want to workout

I want good for you food

So basically what I'm trying to say is 2013 I will finally be okay with myself and I will not let myself go anymore! I will be ecstatic if I get down to 135 but if I get stuck at 140 that is still freaking amazing and I will not beat myself up for it!! But I will get down to 140! I only have 12 more pounds to go....oh yea I lost another 2 pounds this week and I weighed myself today at 151.6 so I KNOW I CAN DO THIS!!!